1 00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:04,820 ♪ It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:04,888 --> 00:00:08,256 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:08,325 --> 00:00:11,910 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:14,929 ♪ On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:18,317 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:21,553 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,232 ♪ All the things that make us 8 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,923 ♪ Laugh and cry 9 00:00:24,975 --> 00:00:29,844 ♪ He's a family guy ♪ 10 00:00:34,552 --> 00:00:37,363 All right, ladies, let's pick teams for dodgeball. 11 00:00:37,387 --> 00:00:38,899 Connie, would you like to be a captain? 12 00:00:38,923 --> 00:00:41,373 Sure. I pick everyone except Meg. 13 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,624 Fair enough. Go! 14 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:46,544 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 15 00:00:58,508 --> 00:01:00,209 Hey, where's everybody going? 16 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,876 That's not how we end this class. 17 00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:05,764 Good job today. Good job today. 18 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:08,033 Great class. Nice hustle. 19 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,483 Hey, how was gym class? 20 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,307 Terrible. You know, I don't think I can take 21 00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,075 another semester at this school, Ruth. 22 00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,576 It's torture. 23 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,912 It's worse than sitting next to a baby on an airplane. 24 00:01:22,199 --> 00:01:23,732 So what brings you to Kentucky? 25 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,200 I'm visiting my family. 26 00:01:25,269 --> 00:01:29,304 Ah, family man. Me? Single and ready to mingle. 27 00:01:29,373 --> 00:01:32,073 Tom Brunell's the name. Insurance is the game. 28 00:01:32,142 --> 00:01:35,927 And right now, the game is very good to me. 29 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,312 Hey, I know! 30 00:01:37,381 --> 00:01:39,058 If you hate it so much here, why don't you come to Paris 31 00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:41,628 for a semester with me instead? I'm leaving next week. 32 00:01:41,652 --> 00:01:43,469 You're going to Paris for a semester? 33 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,799 Yeah, it's a program sponsored by the high school. 34 00:01:45,823 --> 00:01:48,807 My aunt even has an apartment there that we can stay in for free. 35 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,326 Oh, my God, that sounds so amazing! 36 00:01:51,395 --> 00:01:53,294 Excuse me, I was wondering if you 37 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,597 would go to the dance with me on Friday. 38 00:01:55,666 --> 00:01:57,098 Chris, it's me, Meg. 39 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,067 Well, that's everybody. 40 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,942 We now return to Ethiopian Hoarders. 41 00:02:07,011 --> 00:02:10,345 I don't know how it got like this! 42 00:02:10,414 --> 00:02:13,326 Dad, Mom, there's something I want to ask you. 43 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,461 Can I go to school in Paris for a semester? 44 00:02:15,485 --> 00:02:16,718 What? Paris? 45 00:02:16,786 --> 00:02:18,398 Hey, you know, I have a pen pal in Paris. 46 00:02:18,422 --> 00:02:19,942 Would you mind bringing him this letter? 47 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,658 We're fighting. 48 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,505 Meg, I'd love to send you to Paris for a semester, 49 00:02:25,529 --> 00:02:26,962 but we can't afford that. 50 00:02:27,031 --> 00:02:28,641 But I can pay for it myself. 51 00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:30,799 I've been saving up from all my part-time jobs. 52 00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:32,379 That's smart of you, Meg. 53 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:35,363 You know, sometimes I do part-time jobs for extra cash. 54 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,717 Gimme money. Gimme money. 55 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,501 Gimme money. Gimme money. 56 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,785 You be careful, sweetie, and call us as soon as the plane lands. 57 00:02:49,853 --> 00:02:52,137 Okay, Mom, I will. I'll miss you, Dad. 58 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:54,886 I've never been very good at saying good-bee. 59 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,808 Good-bee, Meg. 60 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,461 And I'm gonna bring you back something special, little guy. 61 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,774 Don't worry about me. Just get yourself laid. 62 00:03:01,798 --> 00:03:04,015 Will you get me French Stewart's autograph? 63 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,812 Say hello to the Pont Neuf for me, 64 00:03:05,836 --> 00:03:08,064 or as I like to call it, my inspiration point... 65 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,187 Oop, you're gone. 66 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:10,438 And the family's gone. 67 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,260 Oh, my God, we're actually here in Paris. 68 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,318 This is so exciting! 69 00:03:23,386 --> 00:03:24,764 Good day, foreigners. 70 00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:27,628 On behalf of the country of France, we surrender. 71 00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:30,709 Oh, my God, I love your breath. 72 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:33,261 Hi, I'm Meg. This is my friend, Ruth. 73 00:03:33,329 --> 00:03:36,497 Would you ladies like to share a cab, or as we say, 74 00:03:36,566 --> 00:03:38,299 "share a cab"? 75 00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,301 Sure. That sounds great. 76 00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,414 Oh, and please do not be suspicious 77 00:03:42,438 --> 00:03:45,457 that I am at the airport with no baggage whatsoever. 78 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:52,598 A cool name to say with a French accent is Ashton Kutcher. 79 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,662 Bye! Thanks! 80 00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:04,659 Hey, it's me. I've got some fresh arrivals for you. 81 00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:07,863 How are they? On a scale from un to dix, 82 00:04:07,931 --> 00:04:09,931 they're about a trois. 83 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,313 Wow, this place is awesome! 84 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:17,371 I know! Hey, you wanna dance around like morons to loud music? 85 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,418 I'll be right back. 86 00:04:19,442 --> 00:04:21,802 I've been holding in a dump since America. 87 00:04:26,983 --> 00:04:28,500 Griffin residence. 88 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,197 Hi, Dad, it's me. Just wanted you to know I got here safe. 89 00:04:31,221 --> 00:04:32,287 And sound? 90 00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,038 Yes, Dad, and sound. 91 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,041 Oh! Good. The "sound" is what concerns me. 92 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,337 Oh, it's so amazing here, Dad. 93 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,394 Yep. 94 00:04:39,462 --> 00:04:40,874 You should see it. Uh-huh. 95 00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:42,191 The apartment we're staying in is huge... Uh-huh. 96 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,960 And has an incredible view of... Uh-huh. 97 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,285 Dad, something's going on. Some men just broke in. 98 00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:51,801 Oh, my God! They've got Ruth! 99 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,738 And now, I think they're coming after me! 100 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,964 All right, Meg, I need you to listen to me very carefully. 101 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:01,816 Panic. Pay no attention to detail. 102 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:05,470 Let your mind race. Take short, rapid breaths. 103 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,623 Then hide under the bed, but leave two of your feet sticking out. 104 00:05:14,831 --> 00:05:18,132 Oh, my God, Dad! Are they gonna take me? I'm so scared! 105 00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:21,302 Meg? Meg? 106 00:05:25,776 --> 00:05:28,877 I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. 107 00:05:28,945 --> 00:05:31,846 But I have a very particular lack of skills. 108 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,149 I will never be able to find you, 109 00:05:34,217 --> 00:05:38,052 but what I do have is $2 and a Casio wristwatch. 110 00:05:38,121 --> 00:05:39,988 You can have one of them. 111 00:05:40,056 --> 00:05:41,956 Drakkar Noir. 112 00:05:43,126 --> 00:05:44,492 These guys are serious. 113 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,277 Lois, Meg's dead! 114 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,211 Please, there's gotta be something you can do! 115 00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:54,435 My little girl is in terrible danger! 116 00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:56,785 Ma'am, the men who took your daughter are most likely 117 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:59,491 members of a sophisticated network of human smugglers. 118 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,459 If she's not found within 96 hours, 119 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,361 chances are she's gone forever. 120 00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,896 Then we've gotta hurry! 121 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,581 Sorry, we can't begin our search 122 00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:08,683 until she's been missing for 96 hours. 123 00:06:08,752 --> 00:06:11,052 Oh, my God! My baby! 124 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,200 Yeah, there's a pretty grisly sex trade over there. 125 00:06:13,256 --> 00:06:15,790 Usually we just end up burying framed pictures. 126 00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:18,143 Oh, Peter! This is a nightmare! 127 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:24,060 What's going on down there? Are they gonna find her? 128 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,433 Doesn't look good. 129 00:06:25,502 --> 00:06:27,046 Stewie, I think there's only one way 130 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,848 we're ever gonna see Meg again. 131 00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:31,251 You and I have to take matters into our own hands. 132 00:06:31,275 --> 00:06:32,518 What? What are you talking about? 133 00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:34,053 Look, you're the only one who's got the know-how 134 00:06:34,077 --> 00:06:36,211 and the technology to help us track her down. 135 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:37,812 Hmm. Interesting. 136 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,732 Last week, all my gadgets were "hooey," I think was the word. 137 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,901 I didn't say... You said "hooey"! 138 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,570 All right, I've booked us on a flight that leaves in two hours. 139 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,172 So, um, whose credit card shall we put it on? 140 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,819 Just put it on yours and I'll pay you back. 141 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,388 Yeah, I feel like when that happens, 142 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:52,878 I sometimes don't get paid back. 143 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,279 Like when? 144 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,448 Jersey Boys, Morton's Steakhouse, Foxwoods... 145 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,717 Foxwoods and Jersey Boys was the same trip! 146 00:06:58,768 --> 00:07:00,568 You know what? Fine. 147 00:07:00,636 --> 00:07:03,171 I'll put it on my card, but I'm just gonna say it's a gift 148 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,280 because that's the only way I can do this anymore. 149 00:07:11,548 --> 00:07:13,243 All right, the first thing we've got to do when we land 150 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,278 is check the apartment where Meg was abducted 151 00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:16,812 and see if we can find some clues. 152 00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,381 That sounds good. That's what I was thinking. 153 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,805 Excuse me, do you mind if we switch seats 154 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,641 so my family can sit all together? 155 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,076 No, we don't... We don't switch. 156 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,340 'Cause when we booked, they didn't have three together. 157 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,258 Ma'am, ma'am, your poor planning 158 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,126 does not constitute an emergency for me. 159 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:33,935 You'll see him in Paris. Go sit down. 160 00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:36,521 God, Meg's kidnappers could be anywhere in France by now. 161 00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,334 Well, we do have one lead, Brian. 162 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:40,569 I have a recording of the kidnapper's voice. 163 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,027 What? You do? How? 164 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,696 I recorded the kidnapper's phone call with the fat man. 165 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,831 You see, Brian, I record all phone calls 166 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,711 coming in or out of the house. 167 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,601 You do? Yep. 168 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,615 This one's one of my faves. 169 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,373 Hello, Fundamental Industries. How can I help you? 170 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:58,287 Yeah, um, is this Bang Brothers? 171 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,656 Yes. Oh, okay. 172 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,658 I'd like to cancel my subscription. 173 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:02,747 What's your name? 174 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,056 Brian Griffin. 175 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,528 And which site did you belong to? 176 00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:08,035 Uh, Captain Stabbin'. 177 00:08:08,105 --> 00:08:09,637 And how are you spelling that? 178 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:13,241 Uh, "Captain", full word, then "Stabbin'," 179 00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:16,244 S-T-A-B-B-I-N apostrophe. 180 00:08:16,313 --> 00:08:18,946 Okay, I'm checking. 181 00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:21,961 You know, instead of a "G" at the end. 182 00:08:21,985 --> 00:08:23,865 I'm sorry, sir. I'm not finding that site. 183 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,386 What was the subject matter? 184 00:08:25,455 --> 00:08:29,790 Um, a guy doing chicks on a boat in a, uh, captain's hat. 185 00:08:29,859 --> 00:08:32,327 Okay, I'm checking. 186 00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:34,107 The, um... 187 00:08:34,131 --> 00:08:36,875 The passengers had just signed up for a tour of the harbor 188 00:08:36,899 --> 00:08:39,367 and then all that stuff happened. 189 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,735 Okay, you made your point. 190 00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,456 Well, this is where Meg was staying. 191 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,114 Oh. I thought Paris would be a bit more picturesque. 192 00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:56,317 Instead it's just traffic and some big guy using a jackhammer. 193 00:08:56,386 --> 00:08:58,919 But monsieur, this is not a jackhammer. 194 00:08:58,988 --> 00:09:00,921 It is a Jacqueshammer. 195 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,865 Oh, God, it's worse than I imagined. 196 00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:13,712 You know, maybe it'd help if we just tried to track Meg's movements 197 00:09:13,736 --> 00:09:15,514 from the moment she arrived in France. 198 00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:17,605 That's a good idea, Brian. Let's try Google Earth. 199 00:09:17,674 --> 00:09:18,834 Worth a shot. 200 00:09:21,111 --> 00:09:22,610 There. Enhance. 201 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,697 Wow, I never knew you could do this on a computer. 202 00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:34,789 'Course not, you spend all your time on this watching Captain Stabbin'. 203 00:09:34,858 --> 00:09:37,141 All right, we've got to find this man. 204 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,221 Let's see, this was taken at the airport. 205 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,690 He could be some sort of lookout 206 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,424 who spots girls fresh off the plane. 207 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,949 Yes, you're probably right, Brian. Such scum. 208 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,161 I'll bet they target young girls 209 00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:48,269 the way Army commercials target minorities. 210 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,673 Hey, other black guys. It ain't so bad. 211 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,294 Oh, my God, Stewie! There he is! 212 00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:03,997 Hey, buddy, we've got a few questions for you! 213 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:07,705 Excuse me, but this is a "smoking only" area. 214 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,874 Oh, sorry. Do you have a, uh... 215 00:10:12,396 --> 00:10:14,929 You know, I really only smoke when I drink. 216 00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,583 Oh! Well, this is nice. 217 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,063 This is a nice way to do this. 218 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,720 Look, we need to know, have you seen this girl? 219 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,761 Quick! He's getting away! 220 00:10:29,312 --> 00:10:31,524 No, he's one of those parkour, free-running guys. 221 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,563 We'll never catch him! 222 00:10:39,823 --> 00:10:44,426 Oh, no. I have chateau'ed myself. 223 00:10:44,494 --> 00:10:46,878 Damn it. He died before he could tell us anything. 224 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,547 Brian, he's the first guy. The first guy always dies. 225 00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,499 Well, I'm sure he didn't work alone. 226 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,112 Maybe there's something in here we can use. 227 00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:56,136 This guy has a Velcro wallet. Grow up. 228 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,288 All right, this is the address that was in his wallet. 229 00:11:02,312 --> 00:11:03,689 Yeah, but how are we gonna know for sure 230 00:11:03,713 --> 00:11:05,190 if these are the guys who took Meg? 231 00:11:05,214 --> 00:11:07,848 Well, we have the kidnapper's voice on tape, remember? 232 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,884 Drakkar Noir. 233 00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:11,786 I can use the voice recognition software 234 00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:13,788 in this recorder to confirm a match. 235 00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:16,607 Now, here. Take this briefcase. 236 00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,743 We're Eastern European cologne salesmen. 237 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,412 We ask them what they want, and when they say Drakkar Noir, 238 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,365 which they all will, we'll know if we have our man. 239 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:26,884 Drakkar Noir? 240 00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:31,599 All right, well, that's not him, but this is gonna be easy. 241 00:11:34,544 --> 00:11:36,127 Well, gentlemen, now that you have 242 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,556 smelled all of our colognes, what'll it be? 243 00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,718 I will take some Drakkar Noir. 244 00:11:41,985 --> 00:11:43,434 How about you? 245 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,521 I am disgusting, so I will take two bottle Drakkar Noir. 246 00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:49,718 How about you, chief? Hmm. 247 00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:52,077 Let me quickly grow beard and think about it. 248 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,647 I will take Drakkar Noir. 249 00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:15,194 What the hell are you doing? 250 00:12:15,218 --> 00:12:18,698 We haven't eaten since the plane. I'm starving. 251 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,814 Where is this girl? Where is she? 252 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,649 We keep girls upstairs. 253 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,183 I hope you burn in hell 254 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,572 along with the guy who came up with stuffing a turkey. 255 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:40,024 Hey! Who wants to try some of my butthole bread? 256 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,161 Meg? Meg? 257 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,249 Help me. 258 00:12:48,317 --> 00:12:50,646 Oh, we're here to help somebody else, sweetheart. 259 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:51,948 Go, go, go, go. Don't look at her. 260 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,732 Don't look at her. That was my mistake. 261 00:12:57,426 --> 00:12:58,554 Stewie, I don't see Meg anywhere. 262 00:12:58,578 --> 00:12:59,644 Brian, look! 263 00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:05,333 Oh, my God! Meg! 264 00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:06,483 What the hell? 265 00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:07,852 Where'd you get that hat? 266 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,486 A girl gave it to me. 267 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:10,922 What did she look like? 268 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,701 She had a great personality. 269 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:13,791 That's her. 270 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,371 Where is she? Is she here? 271 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:18,462 No, they took her just a little while ago. 272 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,543 Every Wednesday night, they auction some of the girls off. 273 00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,050 Wednesday? What a weird night to 274 00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,952 auction girls off into slavery. 275 00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:27,499 Well, you know, on the weekend, people probably have plans. 276 00:13:27,523 --> 00:13:29,156 Have plans? What are you doing that's 277 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,091 more important than buying somebody? 278 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,456 Look, where is this place? Where do they have the auction? 279 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,325 I don't know, but there is a courtesy shuttle 280 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,677 that runs every 20 minutes. 281 00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:38,916 What? 282 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,815 Damn it. We just missed it. 283 00:13:42,839 --> 00:13:44,283 What do you wanna do for 20 minutes? 284 00:13:44,307 --> 00:13:46,085 Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna work out. 285 00:13:46,109 --> 00:13:47,286 That's how you stay in shape. 286 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:48,937 You just fit it in when you have free time 287 00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,506 wherever you are, wherever you can. 288 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,930 There's semen on this floor. 289 00:13:56,219 --> 00:13:57,234 Stewie, look! 290 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,054 We gotta get in there! 291 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,534 Hey, got one more here! 292 00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:04,169 Oh! Where are we? 293 00:14:04,193 --> 00:14:06,973 I'm from Atlanta. I don't know where we are! 294 00:14:06,997 --> 00:14:09,263 Hey, you better hurry. They're starting soon. 295 00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,745 You know what's messed up? This is all for charity. 296 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,050 All the proceeds are going to Oxfam. 297 00:14:24,481 --> 00:14:26,013 I hope we're not too late. 298 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:28,276 You should not be out here. Bidding is about to start. 299 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,260 What the hell? Stewie! 300 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,143 The current bid is $200,000. 301 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,645 Oh, my God. 302 00:14:40,697 --> 00:14:45,766 Going once, twice... Sold for $200,000. 303 00:14:45,835 --> 00:14:50,338 Remember, there is cash back when you use your Visa Gold. 304 00:14:50,406 --> 00:14:54,926 Our next item appears to be a late entry. It is not in the catalog. 305 00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,110 What the hell? 306 00:14:56,179 --> 00:14:57,874 All right, fellas, bring the lights up a bit, 307 00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,365 play the CD I gave you and let's do this! 308 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,904 Ah, that's right. You like that? 309 00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,889 I have $50,000. 310 00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:11,392 I have $75,000. 311 00:15:11,461 --> 00:15:12,926 Thank you, Brett Ratner. 312 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,696 Do I have $100,000? 313 00:15:14,764 --> 00:15:17,348 For God's sake. $500,000. 314 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,850 We have $500,000. 315 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,420 Going once, going twice... 316 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,623 Sold to the man who doesn't quite get auctions. 317 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:27,975 That was so fun. 318 00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:29,343 How do you be paying? 319 00:15:29,412 --> 00:15:31,457 Oh, I don't have any money. 320 00:15:31,481 --> 00:15:35,182 Can we work it out, maybe some other way? 321 00:15:35,251 --> 00:15:38,185 Wait a minute. Something doesn't smell funny here. 322 00:15:38,254 --> 00:15:41,405 You're not Arab! You two are coming with me. 323 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,724 This next girl is perfect for those of you 324 00:15:43,792 --> 00:15:45,552 who want to buy a sex slave 325 00:15:45,594 --> 00:15:48,012 but don't want to spend sex-slave money. 326 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,258 Oh, my God, Meg! 327 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,249 Wonder what music they're gonna use for her? 328 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,307 Seems about right. 329 00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:09,384 Damn it. We were so close to saving Meg. 330 00:16:09,452 --> 00:16:10,885 Hey, where's my sister? 331 00:16:10,953 --> 00:16:14,154 She's probably having her shish kabobbed as we speak. 332 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,691 I heard that from Samantha in Sex and the City 2. 333 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,604 I haven't seen it yet. 334 00:16:18,628 --> 00:16:19,994 That doesn't hurt the story. 335 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,096 And now prepare to... 336 00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:25,233 We have a jail cell. 337 00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:28,135 I always tell them, "Put the prisoners in the jail cell." 338 00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:31,171 But they always say, "Just chain 'em up to a pipe." 339 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,123 Idiots. 340 00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:35,109 Hey, that was some good teamwork, Brian. 341 00:16:35,178 --> 00:16:38,713 We were like Lewis and Clark and the guy who likes to tip over canoes. 342 00:16:38,781 --> 00:16:40,609 These rapids are treacherous. 343 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,578 We should reach calmer waters by nightfall. 344 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,452 Uh-oh, earthquake! 345 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,120 Hey, come on! Careful! 346 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:49,935 Damn it. Why is he still with us? 347 00:16:49,959 --> 00:16:51,392 I know! 348 00:16:51,461 --> 00:16:53,372 Until now, walking to the other end of the United States 349 00:16:53,396 --> 00:16:54,945 seemed like such a good job. 350 00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:58,916 There she is! Hurry! 351 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,516 Stewie, what are you doing? We'll never catch a speeding car on foot. 352 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,218 Haven't you ever seen an action movie? 353 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:09,811 All we have to do is cut diagonally across any nearby field. 354 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,651 See? 355 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,061 Oh, crap, they're taking her onto that yacht. 356 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:34,813 All right, we just gotta catch up to the boat. 357 00:17:34,837 --> 00:17:36,137 Well, how we gonna do that? 358 00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,890 Oh, cool! They got Car Chase GPS. 359 00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:42,805 Back up dangerously into traffic. 360 00:17:47,684 --> 00:17:52,236 Proceed wrong way down busy street for 500 meters. 361 00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,828 Say "hang on" and drive down staircase. 362 00:18:00,897 --> 00:18:02,097 Hang on! 363 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:14,075 Poorly edited shot where driver is obviously stunt person. 364 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:28,389 Leave fart in closed car like a dick. 365 00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:29,578 Sorry about that! 366 00:18:32,395 --> 00:18:34,206 All right, they're probably holding her below deck. 367 00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:36,063 You take the right side. I'll take the left. 368 00:18:36,131 --> 00:18:37,164 You're gonna need this. 369 00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:39,244 What? I've never killed anybody before. 370 00:18:39,268 --> 00:18:41,902 Relax, they're Arabs. People will still be rooting for you. 371 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,572 Hey! 372 00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:47,658 Son of a bitch. 373 00:18:49,679 --> 00:18:51,399 Oh! This is like a video game. 374 00:18:54,784 --> 00:18:56,734 Huh! I'm kind of good at this. 375 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,621 Later, dink! 376 00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:26,063 That's for shooting one of our guys! 377 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:28,710 - We got you! - In your face! 378 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,012 - Our boat! - Our boat! 379 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,335 This boat! 380 00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:36,924 There wasn't one guy my way. 381 00:19:39,696 --> 00:19:43,547 Let me go, you fat bastard! I will never be your sex slave! 382 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:47,167 You misunderstand. I did not buy you to be my slave. 383 00:19:47,236 --> 00:19:50,337 I bought you for my son, and not to be his slave, 384 00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:52,640 but to be his wife. 385 00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:54,468 Wife? Faisal! 386 00:19:57,130 --> 00:20:00,798 This is Faisal, my son and the heir to my throne. 387 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,753 My father was correct. Your beauty knows no bounds. 388 00:20:05,822 --> 00:20:09,706 Fair goddess, it is my hope that you will agree to be my wife, 389 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,275 but the choice is yours. 390 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,245 If you say "no," I will have you flown back to your family 391 00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:15,696 on our private jet. 392 00:20:15,764 --> 00:20:17,064 But if you say "yes," 393 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:18,977 I will spend the rest of my days 394 00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:21,368 making your every wish come true. 395 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:24,538 Will you be my wife, Princess Meg? 396 00:20:25,174 --> 00:20:27,791 Oh, yes! Yes! 397 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,146 No! 398 00:20:34,851 --> 00:20:37,034 - Stewie? - Hi, Meg. 399 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:45,042 Oh, honey, we are so glad to have you back, 400 00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:46,977 but you really don't remember anything? 401 00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:48,562 Not really, Mom. 402 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:52,066 I mean, one minute, I was being proposed to by a handsome Arabian prince, 403 00:20:52,134 --> 00:20:54,979 and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a French hospital. 404 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,837 Oh, and we heard from Ruth's parents. 405 00:20:56,905 --> 00:20:58,806 She had her tongue ripped out. 406 00:20:58,874 --> 00:21:01,592 I guess we got off easy, huh? 407 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:04,390 Well, we put all your mail on the desk in your room, sweetheart. 408 00:21:04,414 --> 00:21:05,479 Thanks, Dad. 409 00:21:05,548 --> 00:21:07,468 I'm kidding. You didn't get any mail.